FUNCTION – Play It Maestro (Prim, 1979)

English vocals

International relevance: **

Function gets an A for ambition and execution, but they also score high on the 'so boring it hurts' scale. They were a Christian band on the Prim label, run by the Swedish Pentecostal Movement , and ”Play It Maestro” also had a U.S. release in 1982 on Lamb & Lion Productions. The music is of the most dreaded kind, inbetween AOR, prog rock and fusion. Competent for sure, but that's certainly not an end in itself. Whatever redeeming qualities the use of violin brings to the table, the cheesy jazz rock synths quickly pollutes them to a toxic degree. Vocalist Lars Ludwingson doesn't make it any better either, sounding just like you can expect from somebody having every bit of real soul crippled by a cocksure and annoyingly stubborn faith. A mind uniform that's too tight to let your head breathe properly with different ideas.

The only track even remotely agreeable here is "Unborn Child", but that would have been much better if performed by Pink Floyd. Mind you, I think Pink Floyd is the longest valium party that ever happened and happened and happened and happened and happened and happened and happened and happened and happened and... So thinking they would do anything better is hardly a compliment.

Quite honestly, I can't see how even the most hardcore Christian could bear listening to these suffocatingly boring 43 minutes all through. Play it, maestro? No, please, don't.

Full album playlist (Spotify)